Naturally Nena

Return of the Jedi

2011-10-27T23:52:00.007-06:00

So I apparently felt the need to drop off the planet. I apologize to my regular readers. As you all know, I am still suffering from some depression, and the last few months have been a serious low point for me. It has affected me quite a bit, and I haven't even been able to find the desire to post on here.

But, I am going to push through it and just post anyway. So please bear with me if my posts are disjointed and odd the next month or so. Usually things get better for me as Christmas gets closer.
I thought I would do a quick photo review of what we have been up to the last couple months!


Got to see "Wicked" on my birthday!


DH and I have been married for 4 crazy years!!!

We had lots of fun at the Regina Folk Fest

I fell in love with Twiggy-style mod eyeliner

Sidewalk paint!

Fun at the Beach

I got to see Hanson!!!

Imagine me screaming like a 14 year old girl!

Lost the baby weight!

Sadie got even cuter!

Jude started his third (!) year of Kindermusik!

My brother bought a house with closet doors that are Sadie approved!

I tried to climb through my basement window and ended up looking like a derby girl!

Lots and lots of Rider games!

Jude got to meet his favorite Rider, Weston Dressler.

I went on a 16 km walk with the Young Women from church. Cool street art I saw en route.

Sadie got an awesome new eggplant hat from Papa and Nana

Autumn = sweater and legging weather! Love it!

Jude has become an expert at memory matching games.

Sadie has decided that she will not sleep without me next to her. *sigh*

I joined the Maximize Your Mornings Challenge*

Jude started a Yoga class (which he LOVES) and does yoga at home every night before bed.


October General Conference came and went with much to be learned!

I also got to attend my first home birth! Awesome!

I will be updating again on a regular basis. Thanks for your patience everyone! I can't wait to start blogging on a regular basis again!

*Maximize your Mornings Challenge over at Inspired to Action

Wordless Wednesday: Pioneer Picnic

2011-07-27T07:00:00.003-06:00

Each year our Stake at church holds a Pioneer Picnic out at a ward family's farm. It is always a blast. We all dress in our "pioneer best" play games, eat delicious food, listen to stories of our ancestors, and sing songs around a campfire. This year's was held this past Saturday. Here are some highlights from the day:

cute little pioneer baby

today seems like a good day to learn to crawl

hey Mom, look what I'm doing!

this is awesome!

Golf is a serious game!

Hooray! A hole in one!
(Not difficult when the ball is only two inches from the
hole to begin with! lol)

lining up a putt!

trying on Daddy's new Blue Jays hat

a tired girl at the end of the night.
(Right before the fireworks woke her up!)

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Homemade Playdough Fun

2011-07-26T13:18:00.003-06:00

Due to popular demand after posting a photo of my little man playing with some homemade playdough on instagram, here is my recipe:

2 Cups Water
2 Cups Flour (I use whole wheat flour because that is all I have in the house, but if you want a smoother texture, I suggest white bread flour)
1 Cup Salt
1 Tbsp Vegetable Oil
1 1/2 Tbsp Cream of Tartar
1 Package of Kool-aid, or similar powdered drink (for color)

Add kool-aid mix to water in a pot, then add the remaining ingredients. Stir over low heat until ingredients form a ball of dough.

I use Kool-aid powder for color because the color doesn't transfer as it does with dyes or food coloring. Our favorites are: lime, blue raspberry, and cherry. They also smell delicious!

This is a fun activity you can whip up in next to no time, and your kids will have hours of fun! If you'd like some awesome ideas on what to do with playdough, please check out Nurture Store, they have a great free E-book that you can download with lots of fun ideas! You will find it in the right-hand column on their main page.

Get out there and play!

please vote for Naturally Nena by clicking the above link

Farewell Dear Friends... Farewell.

2011-07-25T23:17:00.002-06:00

This week marked the end of an era as I said goodbye to my beloved, and fondly nick-named "hobo shoes"

It's a long story as to how I actually acquired these shoes (they originally belonged to my old manager), but they have adorned my feet for many months. Throughout my pregnancy with Sadie I wore these shoes until it was too cold to wear anything but boots. These shoes have accompanied me to many playgrounds, letting in lots of sand along the way. These shoes have walked with me several mornings when delivering newspapers. These shoes have been to Niagara Falls and back. Have been worn with formal attire as well as jeans. These shoes have had a good life. And walked their last steps on Saturday afternoon before their retirement. With three holes in the toes, and two soles that are coming detached, I finally admitted, I could no longer wear them, despite their incredible comfort.

And so, I finally had to admit that I needed to spend money on myself (why do Moms do that? We always feel guilty for buying anything for ourselves, but cater to our childrens' needs without hesitiation!?!?), and DH took me shopping. I knew exactly what I was looking for, and was happy that I found something fairly close to what I was wanting.

Hello, new friends. I look forward to walking many miles with you. May you serve me as well as your predecessors. With the added bonus of me no longer looking homeless.

vote for me, please.

Thursday Afternoon Share: Connecting

2011-07-21T12:30:00.017-06:00

I came across this blog last night and instantly fell in love with it. I am sharing one of my favorite posts that I was able to read last night. It really stuck with me and makes me reflect on the moments when I was truly able to connect with my kids. Also, her 3 year old's name is Jude. So she gets bonus points for having awesome taste in names! I hope you enjoy this blog as much as I am!

Real Child Development: Connecting with Your Kids in a Tense Situation

vote for me, please.

A wee hiatus

2011-07-20T22:44:00.000-06:00

I am taking a bit of a blogging break throughout the month of July. I am busy juggling several other projects at the moment, but promise I will blog as much as I can throughout it all and will be back at full force asap!
Love you all.
In the meantime, here is an adorable baby:

Oh she just makes my heart melt! I can't believe she is 7 months old already!

Wordless Wednesday: Playing Catch Up

2011-07-13T16:44:00.000-06:00

hi everyone, I am so sorry I have been MIA the last couple of weeks. I even forgot to queue up my guest posts! You all must think that I fell off the planet!

I wanted to do a sort of photo review of what we have been up to the last couple of weeks. And then I will try to get back blogging in the next day or two! I have a great post written up in my head that needs to make it's way through my fingers and the keyboard onto the screen, so hopefully I can work on that a bit!

In the meantime, here is what we have been busy doing the last couple weeks.

Happy Belated Canada Day!

Sadie Explores an Avacado:

Mommy gave me this thing... must attack!

What is this avocado you speak of?


oh wow! It's delicious!

Lots of BBQ Goodness

Jude "re-skewering" his lamb and veggie kabobs

First Rider Game of the Regular Season:

The Grey Cup

Jude loves the "Go Riders"!

Scrunchy faced Sadie with Papa

These are how close our seats are! #WIN!

Jude's ~~first~~ second time bowling:

Apparently if he runs to the middle of the lane it works better.


I wish everyone ran like Jude does.

Toddlers vs Body Image

2011-06-30T08:56:00.003-06:00

Between car problems, and my own resolution to use public transit more often this summer, my kiddos and I found ourselves making the trek to the bus stop yesterday on our way to the swimming pool.
Things were going well. It was a beautiful day, Jude LOVES buses (I can't adequately explain how much he truly loves buses), and a nice couple in their 40s were waiting for the bus as well. They smiled at Jude and talked to him a bit, and everyone was enjoying themselves. Then the gentleman made a motion with his hand suggesting a large baby bump and said to Jude "You have a big stomach. Do you eat too much?"

HOLD UP! EXCUSE ME!?!?!?!?

Fighting the urge to immediately jump this man and fight him to the death, I simply held Jude's hand tighter and began pointing out the passing cars. Choosing not to give this man's asinine comment the satisfaction of a reaction.

But it bugged me.

All day it bugged me.

As we sat by the pool enjoying an ice cream sandwich it bugged me.

Last night as I was putting Jude's food on his dinner plate it bugged me.

All morning it has bugged me.

So what does a Mommy do? Blog about it... of course!

Move over ugly duckling.

Why did it bug me so much you ask? Well...
No one would ever dream of saying that to a 14 year old girl. We certainly wouldn't say that to other adults on the street. So what makes it okay to say to a 2.5 year old, regardless of their sex?
Don't get me wrong. There are toddlers out there who are dangerously overweight, and whose weight will cause them serious health problems in the future. Obesity is a real issue. However, my son is not overweight.

And even if he was, does shaming a child and setting them up for an eating disorder so early in life solve anything? If a child hears enough comments like that when they are small, I can only imagine the impact it has on how they view themselves as they grow older. Many times when talking about anorexic teens, the topic of skewed body-image comes into play. Where do you think that starts? Why don't we focus more on educating parents about healthy food choices, and less about telling kids that they "eat too much."

Here is my issue. How do I, as Jude's Mommy, teach him that comments like these are coming from foolish people who don't know how to think before they speak? Unfortunately, this is not the first time he has heard something along these lines, despite how NOT fat he is. How can I reassure him that in this world where he is bombarded with images of super heroes and body builders and beautifully airbrushed pectorals splashed on billboards, that he is 100% completely normal? And how do I say to insensitive people that at two and a half years old it is healthy for him to still be carrying a fair amount of baby fat.

Both of my children were serious chunks as babies (okay, Sadie still is). Breast milk and cloth diapers do a body good. Now, Jude is a very active little boy, a picky eater at times, and a very sweet little snuggle bug. He is surrounded with an intense amount of love and emotional support from family and many many friends. But is this enough to defeat the evil monster that is poor body image?

In this society where women's bodies are distorted to no end, and men's are done in a far more conspicuous way, how do I ensure that my son grows up with a healthy sense of self esteem?

Thank you to Julian Wotherspoon for taking the photo of Jude and allowing me to use it in this post.

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Wordless Wednesday: Story Time

2011-06-29T08:14:00.000-06:00

Just One Thing Series: "You CAN Make your own Baby Food!

2011-06-28T08:00:00.001-06:00

Today's post was written by Jenilyn at Grits and Giggles and is the second in the "Just One Thing" Guest Post Series.

I will be accepting and running these posts throughout the summer. Please look for a new post every few days.

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I am a first time Mommy to an adorable baby girl who will be 11 months old all too soon. Before she was born, I made the decision to give her the most natural and healthy start she could have. I wanted to breastfeed, try babywearing, cloth diaper, and make my own baby food. Each of these ideas was met with hesitation and resistance from most of my family. They raised us in the generation of formula, Pampers, Gerber, and strollers. Convenience was key when we were babies, because these products were "new and improved" and far more accessible than they had ever been. While there is nothing wrong with these products, and they offer parents safety and convenience, they just weren't for us. Fortunately, my husband was supportive of my decision to parent as naturally as possible.

Breastfeeding was a struggle, but has been the most amazing experience of my life. Babywearing is both fun and a necessity when going out with a little one. Cloth diapering came later for us, but has been wonderful, and I'm glad we switched. The homemade baby food....now that was a challenge!

We decided to wait until our baby girl was 6 months old to start introducing solids. I was ready to get down to business making her yummy and delicious food that I was sure she would enjoy! And...she hated it. We tried pears and apples first, thinking "Every kid likes apples!" Not my kid. She would gag and spit out any pears or apples that came near that little mouth. I became frustrated that she wouldn't eat her food, but knew it was just for fun right now, so we took a break and decided to try again later. She didn't want them later either! My husband decided that maybe it was too strong of a flavor for her, so we went and picked up some jarred foods for her to try. She was reluctant, but she ate them. I was sad, but I knew we could try the homemade food later. We went to the beach a few weeks thereafter, and picked up some store-bought food for her to eat while we were out. After she was done eating one day I needed to clean her spoon to put it in the diaper bag, so I licked it....bad idea!! It was so gross! I thought, "How can she actually like this stuff?"

As soon as we got home, it was back in the kitchen for me, trying to come up with ways to prepare her food so she would like it. I couldn't imagine feeding her that awful tasting stuff again! I picked up sweet potatoes, squash, apples, pears, and other goodies to make her food. She LOVED it! I guess she just needed to get used to eating solids and now she couldn't get enough.

My family said "Isn't it cheaper to buy jarred food off the shelf?" I told them I made 30 servings of squash for $2.50. You can't buy 30 jars of baby food for anywhere close to that! They said "You don't have time to make all of that food." It takes me about an hour to make her 30 servings of a food, and I can do laundry while it's cooking...talk about multitasking! Making her food has truly been a joy since I've started. I haven't found a food yet that she doesn't like to eat, and coming up with new recipes is half of the fun. I share my recipes on my blog in a series I lovingly call "Because Gerber is Gross...." .

Don't be intimidated by the shopping, the cooking, or your baby's angry face when you try to feed them peas for the first time. Making your own baby food is a fun and rewarding experience and is so good for your baby! You know exactly what is going into that little tummy and exactly when it was made. Whether you buy your produce and meats in the organic market, right off the shelf, or out of the freezer, it's still going to be great for your little one. There have been many nights my husband has come into the kitchen and said "Ooooh, that smells good," only to see me throw the fabulous food into the food chopper! Poor guy. Knowing what my baby is eating and that it tastes good not only to her, but to me as well has been, and continues to be a very rewarding experience for us! I hope that you will try your hand at making some fun and healthy foods for your little one!

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Friday Outdoor Fun

2011-06-24T16:16:00.001-06:00

This morning the kids ventured outside to the Amazonian Rain Forest that is our front yard (too. much. rain.) to enjoy the sun while it graced us with it's presence. The mosquitoes chased us in after about an hour, but not before we had a lot of fun!!!

Thursday Afternoon Share: Picking Your Battles

2011-06-23T16:38:00.001-06:00

Just something funny this afternoon to make you laugh. Seriously, this woman is hilarious! I can't even imagine! Who hasn't wanted to do something completely ridiculous like this???

And That's Why you Should Pick your Battles

warning: there is a bit of language in the post.

Wordless Wednesday: Finding Balance

2011-06-22T13:56:00.005-06:00

My number one tip for new Moms? Sleep when the baby sleeps! It will help you stay balanced (and sane)!!!

ps: If you like Naturally Nena would you please vote for me at Picket Fence Blogs? I would love to be ranked a bit higher! Thanks!

Just One Thing Series: "How I Lost my Son and Won Him Back Again"

2011-06-21T14:03:00.060-06:00

Today's post was written by Beth at Far From Camelot and is the first in the "Just One Thing" Guest Post Series.

I will be accepting and running these posts throughout the summer. Please look for more every few days.

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Like most women, I had a birth plan in mind, long before I was even married. I was the product of a cesarean section and although my mother was content not to experience labor and delivery for herself, I was not. Our family religion relies heavily on our spiritual and physical healings from God. A birth in the hospital, hooked up to machines and drugs was not the route I wanted to follow. While still a long way from total acceptance, I was grateful to have midwives and home births available for me.

After a miscarriage, I found myself pregnant again, much quicker than I had really been prepared for. Of course I was scared and anxious that I would lose this child too. But I had been able to pick up where I had left off with my original midwife. Debbie is a strong, Christian woman who had been through a lot of her own personal tragedies. Helping women give birth is her true calling. She is everything you think of about a midwife. Strong in precarious situations yet gentle when she examines the baby’s growth. Knowledgeable of all stages of gestation and attentive to all your concerns and feelings. My pregnancy with her was more than just about birthing a baby. She helped me to make more of a spiritual connection to the baby and the birthing process. Her experience would have been an absolute help to me if it all had gone to plan.

I had planned on a water birth to help cut down on the pain for me and the trauma to the baby. We had the perfect tub and bathroom to add to the ease. Riley (I call him RB in my writings) was born exactly one day before my EDD. Much of that day is a blur. I remember it only in bits and pieces. Labor was spent walking around; continuously moving and in and out of the tub. After 18 hours of labor, I pushed him for 2 hours. He was hung up on my pelvic bone and not getting around it. The decision to go to the hospital was not made lightly. God protected us as RB & I were never in distress, so we had time to pray about the situation.

At the hospital they gave me an epidural and had me rest for an hour. Then it was back to pushing for 30 minutes with the on-call OB-GYN. He made the final decision for a cesarean section. After I was all patched up and lucid, I kept RB in the room with me until we were released. Amazingly he had the same habits out of the womb as in it – up all night, sleep all day! Of course I had to take pain pills while admitted and my mom and grandmother were always with me. I was exhausted but functional.

Compared to the next coming year, giving birth was a walk in the park. My recovery was not that of a regular scheduled section because of the trauma my stomach had taken with the labor. A major battle had taken place inside my uterus. For the time being, it had beaten me. If I moved an inch it felt like my insides were going to come falling out, that’s the best way to describe it. Add the pain of the incision and I thought for sure I was going to rip all the staples out, including tearing up all my organs. The Worst Pain I have ever endured! I couldn’t lie down on my back to sleep. I couldn’t stand up straight and walk without holding on to something. You have no idea how much you use your stomach muscles on a regular basis! And I had to go through this while trying to bond with a new baby. This is when I went through my minor bout with post-partum depression.

I couldn’t lift him in and out of the crib. I could barely hold him at all. Getting out of my bed at night to breastfeed, I thought for sure I would collapse and fall on top of him. Baby-wearing was out of the question and that was something I desperately wanted to do. I had little, if any relationship with him and it destroyed me. RB is a very independent child and part of me can’t help but think it’s because of the lack of physical attention I was able to give him. Not only was I sure I was never going to walk again, but I knew that I hadn’t given RB the best start in life. A baby needs its mother to be whole. For that, I felt so inadequate, so angry and so guilty. My brilliant ideas of birth were harming my child and I couldn’t forgive myself. I fell deeper into depression and it was easy because my husband and mother was there to take care of RB. It helped me to turn away from him too. I didn’t want anything to do with the baby at one point. It was easy to hide that feeling being a stay at home mom. I was alone all day with no one to critique my mothering skills. And then my grandmother died. Put another notch in the “poor me” card. It took almost 4 months for my physical healing from the section. Mentally, I still had a ways to go but my father showed up at our house one day, unannounced. He knows me better than anyone and he could see what was happening to me. I broke down and he helped me through it. Honestly I don’t remember a word he said to me, but I never felt that depression again.

However the damage was done. My son would run to my mother for comfort before me. He and my husband have a wonderful relationship and I felt like a total outsider. Strangers probably looked at me as the step mother because of my lack of physical involvement. I let my husband do all the heavy lifting and running around. I still felt inadequate and I still do today at times. I had the safety net of my family that would catch me when I needed to fall.

After RB turned one year old, we moved out of state for a better job opportunity. No more safety net. RB was stuck alone with me and only me, and I had to buck up. The transition was hard for all of us but it forced me to become the mom I knew I wanted to be. And could be. Only in the past few months has the change in our relationship begun to show. My husband regularly comments on how close RB and I are. He runs to his mommy first and his daddy second.

In some strange way, maybe what we all experienced as a new family helped shaped our son into a compassionate 2 year old today. He shakes hands with people he comes in contact with, never leaving anyone out. He says “hello” to strangers that pass us in the grocery store aisle. He is always looking for ways to help us with our tasks at hand. If he gives a kiss to daddy, he’ll give a kiss to mommy too. And when he’s sitting close to you, he’ll put his hand on your arm and that simple gesture of solidarity makes the past hardships worth the trip.

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Happy Father's Day!

2011-06-19T09:43:00.003-06:00

Hope it's a great one!

Thursday Afternoon Share: Babywearing

2011-06-16T12:30:00.013-06:00

I am currently putting together some information on babywearing and came across this wonderful post that a friend of mine shared. It is definitely worth checking out! Reading it makes me very thankful that I rarely carried Jude FFO, and haven't ever carried Sadie that way. And on top of all this, it is so much more fun to snuggle with a little person!

Why We Don't Recommend a Forward-Facing Carry

If you are looking for more info on babywearing, or would like to attend a babywearing class, please contact Tanya at Precious Earth, she offers amazing classes and can answer all your questions.

Wordless Wednesday: Farmers Market Haul

2011-06-15T15:04:00.000-06:00

A few of the delicious veggies I picked up at today's Farmers' Market. Look at the color in that pepper! Yum!

Summer Guest Post Series

2011-06-11T15:17:00.003-06:00

I am so excited to announce Naturally Nena's Summer Guest Post Series!

With everything my family has going on this summer, along with working on my Doula certification, and just trying to get outside as much as possible, I thought I would put together a little guest posting series.

Interested in getting your post featured on Naturally Nena? We currently average between 1800 & 2200 views a month and are one of the up and coming faces in the world of Natural Parenting.

The theme of the series is "If I Could Tell You Just One Thing" and it is exactly what it sounds like. What would you tell us if you could share just one thing? Just one story?
First, consider your audience. Are you writing to your child? To other Moms? To the readers of Naturally Nena?
Feel free to share funny stories that will make NN readers laugh. Emotional stories will make us reflect on how important our calling as a Mother is. Write a letter to your child sharing a special moment. Be creative! What is one thing you would like to pass on to other Moms?
Guidelines for Submission:

You should currently be a mom or trying to conceive.
Submissions can be published as “Anonymous” or you can use your name and link to your blog.
Think of an event that has happened in your life, either recently or in the past, that you have learned from and has helped you to grow into the person you are today. Consider whether sharing this will help others on their journey through parenthood.
Please spell-check your submission and pay attention to grammer, etc. I won't have a lot of time to edit your submission, so please keep this in mind before submitting it to me.
I would really really love it if you would submit a picture or graphic with your post, but please either own it or have permission to use it.
I will only be accepting original content, so please do not submit something you have posted elsewhere. You do not need to be an AP style parent to submit your article. But please recognize that any hostility toward AP parenting practices, natural child-birthing/child-rearing, etc will NOT be considered. Nor will anything offensive or inappropriate.
I may not be able to post everything that is submitted, and if I am not able to post yours I will let you know so that you can use it on your own blog.
The first post will be put up the week of June 20th. But I will be accepting submissions until much later in the summer.

You will get a lovely little button to post on your blog saying you were a guest writer on Naturally Nena and lots of linky love with your post.

If you are interested, please email me at: pineapplelesson [at] yahoo.com with "Guest Post" somewhere in your subject.

Looking forward to reading what you have to say.

Relay for Life 2011

2011-06-11T13:17:00.002-06:00

Our family took part in the Canadian Cancer Society's Relay for Life last night. Just a few photos of our loooooong night:

Luminary for DH's Grandma

My Grandpa's luminary

Sunrise over Wascana

The Versatile Blogger

2011-06-09T15:23:00.000-06:00

Thank you so much to Beth at Far From Camelot who likes Naturally Nena enough to award us with the Versatile Blogger Award! This is the first award I've won and I am super excited about it!!! And I am glad she thinks of my blog as versatile! Natural Living truly does cover all sorts of issues including how we parent, eat, shop, care for the environment... the list could go on and on. Regardless, thanks again Beth!

Here is how it works:

Thank the person who gave you the award by linking back to them in your post.
Tell us 7 things about yourself.
Award some recently discovered bloggers.
Contact those bloggers and let them in on the exciting news!

Seven Things About Me:

1. I am obsessed with Anthropologie! OBSESSED! I wish my house could look like one of their store displays. Alas, I will never make any of my random assortment of antiques look that fab. And I have kids... therefore it won't work. I'll just have to be happy I've got the shabby down... if not quite the chic.
2. I am a black belt in Tae Kwon Do.
3. I (not so) secretly am a big fan of the Twilight series. And am on Team Edward.
4. I used to have a totally irrational fear of the eyes on potatoes. I got over it while working in a Mom and Pop type restaurant/catering place where I had to peel potatoes almost every night during summer wedding season.
5. I've ridden in a hot air balloon.
6. I wanted to be on Broadway. I still do, to be honest. (My dream role is Maureen in Rent). I'm a little bit jealous of any of my friends who are still immersed in the theatre world.
7. Before I got married I thought I wanted 7 kids. Now I think that 4 is the max. I would probably even be happy with 3!

Please take the time to stop by a few of these great blogs that I really enjoy to say Hi!

Thursday Afternoon Share: Breastmilk Storage

2011-06-09T14:35:00.000-06:00

This week I came across a fun and very easy little DIY for a great method of storing frozen breastmilk that is super convenient. I definitely had one of those "why didn't I think of that" moments! Please check it out over at Green Lite Bites. She also has some pretty fab looking recipes that I have added to my meal plan for next week!

Wordless Wednesday: Doula Baby

2011-06-08T08:13:00.002-06:00

I alwayz haz teh cutez, now I haz teh knowledge.

Sadie at the CAPPA certification course, Saturday June 4. Thanks to Julian at The Connected Mom for rocking her iPhone!

Why I am Becoming a Doula

2011-06-03T08:00:00.052-06:00

In honor of the CAPPA Doula certification workshop I am attending this weekend (and because I feel I owe you a nice long post after the last few weeks I have neglected you to tackle my required reading list), I thought I would take a few minutes to share some of my reasons I have decided to become a Doula.

There have been many people who immediately told me "you would be so good at that!" But for as many of these compliments I receive, I have been getting just as many questions from friends and family asking WHY I would want to do it? There are certainly some daunting parts of being a Doula, but I know that helping a woman through the birth of her child will be one of the most rewarding, fulfilling, and spiritual experiences I will ever have. And to be able to do that for many women will be even more incredible.

For those who don't know a Doula is a birth attendant who is there to provide continuous support to the Mother and her partner through the labor and delivery of their child. Either at home, in the hospital, or both. With a working knowledge I am there to help empower the family, keep them focused on their goal, and to respect and support their decisions during the birthing process.

During the last 3 months of my difficult pregnancy with Jude I was on bedrest. I laid around the house surfing the internet for information on my birth. Not once did I come across anything that suggested I may need a Doula. But I had a birth plan. I had an idea of what I wanted to happen. I went to the hospital with a lot of faith in the medical staff there. I foolishly believed that the hospital staff wanted me to have a natural birth just as badly as I did. I wasn't prepared for the amount of medical interventions that would soon be thrust upon me. I didn't realize how drastically different each birth team can be. I am grateful every day for the amazing nurse I had, who helped me through everything and kept me informed... I'm certain she was a huge blessing in the end when things started to get scary.

2 years later, almost to the day, I found myself in the delivery room again. This time with more knowledge to back me up. I knew about Doulas and the role they played, but didn't consider hiring one (I have no idea why, and I'm not sure it would have changed the outcome). They OB on call was one I disliked, and who I knew was very Pro-cesarean. At 2am, after hours of labor and a very strategic play of the Dead Baby Card, I found myself drugged up on the OR table with a knife to my belly. Let's just say this isn't how I envisioned the end of this wonderful, healthy pregnancy to go. And because, at the time, I was convinced there was no real reason for a cesearean, it was like a blow to my already very sensitive stomach. The effect on my relationship with Sadie was devastating. I didn't have the chance to really enjoy her sweet little newborn personality the same way I did with Jude. In fact it took me a very long time to feel that she and I had any connection at all. But most of all, I felt I had let her down. That because I wasn't strong enough I had "ruined" her.

I'm not sure exactly when it was, but I decided that I needed to do something. I couldn't be the only Mother who was bullied into making choices she didn't want to while she was in the delivery room. What could I do? I started to arm myself with information. I began attending all sorts of classes including handling PPD, homeopathy, and others. Then, thanks to The Feminist Breeder, I realized I am a total birth junkie!! I stayed up until some ridiculous hour of the early early morning to follow along with her home birth of baby Jolene, and have since cheered on several other online friends during their labors.

Que the opportunity to attend this CAPPA training course this weekend, and in these 6 short months I have found a way to use my passion to help others. I can't begin to explain how grateful I am to Heavenly Father that He has given me this opportunity. Because your baby's birth experience DOES matter... it is something that lasts forever. (Check out "Why Birth Experience Matters")

I am so thankful that I have had the opportunity to really process my two births and to be able to go into this training with a clean slate. The last thing I want is to color a woman's birth experience because I am carrying ghosts from the birth of my own children. I am thankful I have a caring heart, and that I am generally a supportive and encouraging person. I have so many friends who I have been blessed with who trust me to help them with even the most difficult situations. I am grateful to each of them. I am thankful that Regina has an awesome support system in place through the Doulas of Regina. And I am EXTREMELY grateful that I will be able to use my passion to help others feel empowered. To help the women I serve realize their inner strength and their amazing ability to bring life into this world. To help them feel more support, and less intimidation during the birth of their precious children. I am thankful for my knowledge of who these precious spirits that are brought to us are, and how important it is that we raise them with integrity. I am thankful to the inspiration and strength of so many Doulas and Mamas I have met and talked to who have helped me through my journey thus far. And I am so very thankful to all the Mothers I have yet to meet who will allow me to be a part of their birth stories. To them I say - Thank you!

If you'd like to read more about my experiences with the birth of my two adorable kidlets, my post The Beginning, can fill you in a bit more. Some of my feelings have changed since then, but with knowledge and reflection comes growth.

Wordless Wednesday: Happy Puppet Family

2011-06-01T15:05:00.003-06:00

Jude has a bit of an affinity for puppets... especially finger puppets. We have a basket where a good 20+ finger puppets currently reside.

I'll let you decide what THAT particular puppet show was about. Dr. Seuss' Horton, a bunny and a pirate... interesting... my boy sure does have an imagination!

But thank you to the puppet lady at the Cathedral Village Arts Festival (whose business card I took, but can't seem to find right now - so if you have her contact info, please email me so I can put it up here, thanks) we welcomed two new friends to the puppet collection.

Curious George, and the Man with the Yellow Hat!

And rumor has it a certain Papa and Nana has a Donald Duck to add to the happy puppet family. Jude will be ecstatic!

Cathedral Village Arts Festival

2011-05-30T16:56:00.001-06:00

Thanks to everyone who was a part of the Cathedral Village Arts Festival this year! It was a blast! Sooo many great vendors and lots of great entertainment! So glad Saturday turned out to be pretty nice afterall!!

Brainiac me forgot the camera, so many thanks to Julian from The Connected Mom for taking this photo with her iPhone!!

Jude was exhausted, and wanted to be carried most of the day. I was really wishing I had brought my sling as well as the Mei Tai, it really wouldn't have taken up *that* much more room in my bag - and would have saved my back... oh well.

I will post some photos of the goodies I got for my kiddos later in the week. Tonight, I am headed to see Chicago!!! I am such a Broadway junkie! SOOOOO excited!

Wordless Wednesday: Candid

2011-05-25T22:41:00.000-06:00

So I totally forgot it was Wednesday today (thanks long weekend), so it is almost Thursday... but oh well.

photo taken by Jude!

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

2011-05-25T12:40:00.001-06:00

Thank you to everyone who entered Naturally Nena's first giveaway! I am so excited for the lovely Mamma who won this gorgeous hat! And so, without further ado, the winner is:

Congratulations to Melanie who won the hat with comment number 20! I will be contacting you shortly to get your information so we can make and send you your beautiful Lindberg Hat!

If you would like to order a hat of your own, please visit Little Noggin Designs on facebook for photos and pricing.

Thanks again to all who entered. Please stay tuned for more great giveaways and other fun stuff!

The Potty Training Paradigm: Part 2

2011-05-24T07:53:00.007-06:00

So 1 week later, I am sitting here at my computer at 7:30 am. Awaiting the inevitable awakening of my little Jude bug within the next few minutes. I am worried that today will be the start of another "one of those weeks." And to top it off, we are headed off in a thousand different directions today.

Normally... Potty Training would be the last thing on my "to-do" list. But I'm going to stick it out. We aren't giving up this time. I know he can do it. He knows he can do it. He just needs a little more practice!

Are we there yet?
Nope.
But we're close.
Seriously, that whole "potty training in 3 days" thing? Not going to work for us.
Jude is a very gentle soul who does things in his own time.
And using humiliation, bullying and guilt to get a child to use the toilet (or do anything for that matter) is NOT okay!
So we are taking our time.
Jude is still wearing his "big boy underwear" despite many, many, many... many accidents.

But that, to me, is the essence of parenting. There will be many, many, many... many accidents along the way! My job is to gently guide my little ones toward becoming individuals. To gaining independence and learning from me how to treat others. If a parent bullies their child are they really that surprised when, a few years later, they receive a phone call from their child's school regarding a bullying incident? When a parent hits or yells or threatens.... are they really that surprised to see that behavior handed down, and their grandchildren treated in the same fashion?

I believe that it is our job, as parents, to stop this cycle. Gentle parenting, and showing our unconditional love through, well, loving action is common sense to me. It is something that is gaining popularity in recent years, and something I couldn't be more happy see getting more exposure on the web and in the media. I have many friends, both in the bloggy world and in real life whose children trust them, love them, and understand the nurturing role that a parent holds from an early age. And I applaud each of them for the efforts. It is not always easy. There are days when there are accidents. I have had days in the last week when I have finished cleaning up a potty-training accident to find that the kitten has made a mess on the floor. Only to be followed by something catching on fire, and a curious toddler finding a long-forgotten and lonely bottle of Febreeze... and then promptly spraying himself in the face with it.
Reading that now, I can't help but laugh. It's been a gong show. But that is my job as a Mother! And I wouldn't trade it for any other job on earth!

I would like to discuss my salary though. ;)

Don't forget, today is your LAST chance to enter my Giveaway to win a handmade Lindberg Hat by Little Noggin Designs. Enter Now!

*Photo taken by: Nicole Yawney.

Thursday Afternoon Share: Gentle Parenting

2011-05-19T12:07:00.006-06:00

I wanted to share a few links to great articles on gentle parenting. I've come across these in the last few days, and it's always great to reread some tips on how love is more effective than stern discipline. Even if you already utilize "gentle parenting" practices, these are good to look over. I know I appreciated them, especially after the week I've had. Here are 3 great ones to check out.

Positive Discipline, the Toddler Years.

If Not Spanking, Then What?

What's Wrong with Time Outs?

There are many many more great resources out there to help you deal with moments like this:

lol. These are just a few to help get your feet wet if you are new to the idea. I will be writing my own post regarding "Time-Ins" in the next little while, so stay tuned!

And don't forget about my fabulous giveaway! This week is your last chance to enter!

Wordless Wednesday: Smile when your heart is aching

2011-05-18T16:36:00.002-06:00

Today's theme over at the Natural Parents Network for Wordless Wednesday is "Gentle Parenting Put to the Test." Um, yeah.... thanks for encouraging that one. It's been "one of those days"... and I feel like a TERRIBLE Mother. I have had many moments today where it took a lot for me to not scream and run around like a banshee right alongside my little Mr. Independent. Regardless, I took a look back through my photos and realized that I sort of lack photos of the times that my patience wore a little thin... I can't imagine why. lol. So I chose some cute, happy photos of Jude from the past couple of weeks that make me smile. And remind me that today will pass. I'll probably laugh about it tomorrow. We can only hope.

Oh, and a short video of Sadie last night. Who can frown when watching a cute baby laugh?

Potty training update tomorrow. I'm off to have a nice cold lemonade and try to forget the horrors of today. ;) In the meantime, if you haven't already, hop on over and enter my giveaway!

The Potty Training Paradigm

2011-05-17T10:21:00.004-06:00

First of all, I'd like to apologize for having been posting so sparingly lately. With all the goofiness Blogger has been spitting my way lately, I have gotten rather frustrated, and after losing hours of work (serves me right for not backing it up elsewhere) I needed a break. One day I will get back to writing what I had planned for last week and this week. Until then, lets all cross our fingers it is miraculously recovered by the powers that be here on Blogger.

Yes, my post titles sound like episodes of the Big Bang Theory. But that's another day's post.

This week we have started working on potty training Jude.

Again.

Seriously. This seems like something I have been doing over and over and over again. However, life is hectic, I have WAY too much on my plate half the time, and something has to give, and it's usually potty-training.
This photo was taken in August 2010 when Jude was 19 months old and THE MOST excited about potty training:

It is now May of 2011. Yeah, consistency isn't exactly my my strong suit. To be fair though, at that point I think he just enjoyed sitting on the potty and reading his Friend magazine. But he was doing SO well, and we were making several catches a day. But let's play the blame game here: I was pregnant, and running a daycare, and still delivering newspapers every morning. Blah, blah blah. I missed a great window of time when I could have been diaper free!!!

Since then, there have been many many more attempts to ditch the dipes. Most of them resulting in me giving in and opening my diaper drawer for any number of reasons.... Kindermusik, grocery shopping, church... they've all been blamed for my lack of confidence. Not a lack of confidence in Jude. But in my own ability to teach him. I haven't given my little man enough credit. He is ready. He is willing. He just needs my help.

So here we are back where we started.

And this time, I am prepared. We have lots of food in the house. No extra-curriculars. And a well-rested and ready-to-take-on-the-world mentality... for both Jude and Mommy!

Wish us luck. There will be more updates throughout the week.

Also, don't forget about my giveaway! One week left to enter. The draw will take place after the (Canadian) May long weekend!

Wordless Wednesday: Gardening with Children

2011-05-11T05:00:00.008-06:00

Nothing better than a fresh garden carrot pulled by a cute gardener!

This week's photo is inspired by the theme over at Natural Parents Network: "Gardening With Children"

Why Choose Your Local Farmers' Market

2011-05-10T05:00:00.011-06:00

Welcome to the May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Growing in the Outdoors

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared how they encourage their children to connect with nature and dig in the dirt. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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May is one of my favorite months of the year as it marks the triumphant return of the Regina Farmers' Market to it's outdoor venue in the streets of downtown Regina.

One of my absolute favorite things in the entire world is to walk down Scarth Street (I can't wait until the downtown revitalization is done... but that is another story) - listening to the Hutterites' thick and intriguing accents, inhaling the delicious scent of fresh-from-the-ground veggies, and reveling in the creativity of so many of our locals. Oh, and don't forget about Busker Dave - his music fills the air with a sense of excitement and joviality!

My son has always loved the Farmer's Market. He recognizes several of the local farmers, and he is always a hit as he helps me choose which veggies to take home. But the real reason I love the Farmers' Market is that it acts as an extension of my own home garden. Living in Saskatchewan, I am limited as to what I can grow in my own backyard... and sometimes finding the time with two small children and a tiny amount of room in which I can actually grow things is tough. The Farmers' Market is like a beacon of light helping me choose healthy foods to put on my table, grown by socially responsible and environmentally conscious producers. Here are some of the reasons I prefer to buy from local farmers (as well as other local businesses), why I am teaching my children the value of buying from local farmers, and why you should consider it as well!

Many local growers don't use the sorts of chemicals that larger scale farms would. So in many cases you are getting all-natural produce, meaning you do not have to worry about all of the pesticides, hormones and other chemical junk that you could be putting into your family members' bodies. Which is especially scary when it comes to your children. At the very least, you can talk to the farmer and find out exactly what he puts on his produce, or feeds his cattle.
When you buy from local growers, you are helping to protect our fragile earth. Farmers driving their produce to the market costs considerably less than it does to ship huge quantities of produce thousands of miles. Also, this helps to encourage regional farming - helping to decrease our over-dependence on those small areas of the country that may not be able to wield large crops forever.
The produce is so much fresher! "Well, DUH!" It hasn't been sitting in a truck or a warehouse for days! In many cases you will be purchasing produce that had been picked THAT morning. I can tell you, it makes a huge difference! Also, because produce begins losing nutrients after being harvested - the sooner you eat it, the more nutrient-rich it will be.
I often find myself purchasing produce that is "outside of the box" for my family. When I see a particular piece of produce that is fresh and in season but I have not cooked before, I will often ask the vendor for some tips and give it a try. My family has found some yummy new favorites this way! It can almost be like a dinnertime adventure.
Less packaging is a huge turn-on for me when it comes to the Farmers' Market. I will often take my own bags, and many of the growers will have bags they are reusing, or have recyclable paper bags to take my yummy goodies home in!
There is also less waste. More food is thrown out each year than you can possibly imagine. The reason being that the food we buy at the supermarket is not nearly as fresh as it could be. This often means that the produce does not last as long, is packaged in large quantities that we can't possibly eat before it spoils, and is often thrown out.
Buying locally helps stimulate your local economy and support local farmers/businesses.
Working farms help preserve open spaces without using tax dollars.
Large-scale farms grow a fairly small amount of hybrid fruits and vegetables because they can tolerate the abuse of harvesting, packing, shipping and storage. This leaves very little genetic diversity in the food supply. Local growers and family farms, however, grow a large number of varieties to provide better color, flavor, and to take full advantage of the growing season. Many farmers choose “heirloom” varieties that have been passed down through generations of family because of their excellent flavor. Older varieties contain the genetic structure of hundreds of years of human selection and may provide the diversity needed to thrive in a changing climate.
Buying from local growers helps ensure that my children have access to these foods when they become parents.

For more information on Farmers' Markets, and a list of Canadian Farmers' Markets please visit Farmers' Markets Canada.

The Regina Farmers' Market website. Find out what's going on right here in the Queen City!

Don't forget to enter Naturally Nena's very first Giveaway for your chance to win an adorable handmade Lindberg hat.

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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

Get Out! — Momma Jorje gives reasons she doesn't think she gets outside enough and asks for your suggestions on making time for the outdoors.
How Does Your Garden Grow? — The ArtsyMama shares her love of nature photography.
We Go Outside — Amy at Peace 4 Parents describes her family's simple, experiential approach to encouraging appreciation of nature.
My Not-So-Green Thumb — Wolfmother confesses to her lack of gardening skills but expresses hope in learning alongside her son at Fabulous Mama Chronicles.
Enjoying Outdoors — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine describes how her children enjoy the nature.
Five Ideas to Encourage the Reluctant Junior Gardener — For the rare little ones who don't like to get their hands dirty, Dionna at Code Name: Mama offers tips for encouraging an early love of dirt (despite the mess).
Connecting to Nature — Mamapoekie shares how growing your own vegetable patch connects your child to nature and urges them to not take anything for granted.
The Farmer's Market Classroom — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction shares how the Farmer's Market has become her son's classroom.
Seeds — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment's hubby Ken shares his perspective on why gardening with their kiddos is so important . . . and enjoyable!
Toddlers in the Garden — Laura at A Pug in the Kitchen shares her excitement as she continues to introduce her toddler and new baby to the joys of fresh veggies, straight from the garden.
Nature's Weave — MJ at Wander Wonder Discover explains how nature weaves its way into our lives naturally, magnetically, experientially, and spiritually.
Becoming Green — Kristina at Hey Red celebrates and nurtures her daughter's blossoming love of the outdoors.
Little Gardener — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis looks forward to introducing her baby girl to gardening and exploring home grown foods for the first time.
Cultivating Abundance — You can never be poor if you have a garden! Lucy at Dreaming Aloud reflects on what she cultivates in her garden . . . and finds it's a lot more than seeds!
Growing in the Outdoors: Plants and People — Luschka at Diary of a First Child reflects on how she is growing while teaching her daughter to appreciate nature, the origins of food, and the many benefits of eating home-grown.
How Not to Grow — Anna at Wild Parenting discusses why growing vegetables fills her with fear.
Growing in the Outdoors — Lily at Witch Mom Blog talks about how connecting to the natural world is a matter of theology for her family and the ways that they do it.
A Garden Made of Straw — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy shares tips on making a straw bale garden.
The Tradition of Gardening — Carrie at Love Notes Mama reflects on the gifts that come with the tradition of gardening.
Gardening Smells Like Home — Bethy at Bounce Me to the Moon hopes that her son will associate home grown food and lovely flowers with home.
The New Normal — Patti at Jazzy Mama writes about how she hopes that growing vegetables in a big city will become totally normal for her children's generation.
Outside, With You — Amy at Anktangle writes a letter to her son, a snapshot of a moment in the garden together.
Farmer Boy — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares how her son Joshua helps to grow and raise their family's food.
Growing Kids in the Garden — Lisa at Granola Catholic shares easy ways to get your kids involved in the garden.
Growing Food Without a Garden — Don't have a garden? "You can still grow food!" says Mrs Green of Little Green Blog. Whatever the size of your plot, she shows you how.

Growing Things — Liz at Garden Variety Mama shares her reasons for gardening with her kids, even though she has no idea what she's doing.
Moments — UK Mummy Blogger explains how the great outdoors provides a backdrop for her family to reconnect.
Condo Kid Turns Composter and Plastic Police — Jessica from Cloth Diapering Mama has discovered that her young son is a true earth lover despite living in a condo with no land to call their own.
Gardening with Baby — Sheila at A Gift Universe shows us how her garden and her son are growing.
Why to Choose Your Local Farmer's Market — Naturally Nena shares why she believes it's important to teach our children the value of local farmers.
Unfolding into Nature — At Crunchy-Chewy Mama, Jessica Claire shares her desire to cultivate a reverence for nature through gardening, buying local food, and just looking out the window.
Urban Gardening With Kids — Lauren at Hobo Mama shares her strategies for city gardening with little helpers — without a yard but with a whole lot of enthusiasm.
Mama Doesn't Garden — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life is glad her husband is there to instill the joys of gardening in their children, while all she has to do is sit back and eat homegrown tomato sandwiches.
Why We Make this Organic Garden Grow — Brenna at Almost All The Truth shares her reasons for gardening with her three small children.
5 Ways to Help Your Baby Develop a Love of the Natural World — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama believes it's never too early to foster a love of the natural world in your little one.
April Showers Bring May PRODUCE — Erika at NaMammaSte discusses her plans for raising a little gardener.
Growing Outside — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante discovers how to get her kids outside after weeks of spring rain.
Eating Healthier — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey talks about how she learns to eat healthier and encourages her children to do the same.
The Beauty of Earth and Heavens — Inspired by Charlotte Mason, Erica at ChildOrganics discovers nature in her own front yard.
Seeing the Garden Through the Weeds — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro talks about the challenges of gardening with two small children.
Creating a Living Playhouse: Our Bean Teepee! — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings shares how her family creates a living playhouse "bean teepee" and includes tips of how to involve kids in gardening projects.
Grooming a Tree-Hugger: Introducing the Outdoors — Ana at Pandamoly shares some of her planned strategies for making this spring and summer memorable and productive for her pre-toddler in the Outdoors.
Sowing Seeds of Life and Love — Suzannah at ShoutLaughLove celebrates the simple joys of baby chicks, community gardening, and a semi-charmed country life.
Experiencing Nature and Growing Plants Outdoors Without a Garden — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares some of her favorite ways her family discovered to fully experience nature wherever they lived.
Garden Day — Melissa at The New Mommy Files is thankful to be part of community of families, some of whom can even garden!
Teaching Garden Ettiquette to the Locusts — Tashmica from Mother Flippin' (guest posting at Natural Parents Network) allows her children to ravage her garden every year in the hopes of teaching them a greater lesson about how to treat the world.
Why I Play with Worms. — Megan of Megadoula, Megamom and Megatired shares why growing a garden and raising her children go hand in hand.

Happy Mothers Day

2011-05-08T15:42:00.000-06:00

To all of my readers, have a wonderful Mother's day! And thank you for everything you do to support today's youth... no matter whether or not you have physically given birth!

International Day of the Midwife

2011-05-06T14:53:00.005-06:00

Yesterday was the International Day of the Midwife. Here in the Queen City it was marked by a gathering at the General Hospital to discuss the need for publicly funded midwifery care in the province, and wrapped up with a great picnic in front of the Leg! (pronounced "Ledge" for you non-QC peeps) The day was beautiful and sunny which resulted in some pink cheeks today for my fair little man (if anybody has any natural sunburn remedies they want to share with me, please comment); and it was a wonderful opportunity to meet some fellow Moms and other women who support midwifery, and to make some connections for my future plans. (That is for another post).

I love the look on his face in this one!!

There is currently only one midwife who works in the city of Regina, and only 9 in the entire province of Saskatchewan!! Talk about an extreme shortage!

What can you do to help? Well, if you are in the Regina area, there is currently a petition available to be signed. This petition addresses the need for more funding dedicated to recruiting more midwives to help meet the demand, funding local training of midwives, providing adequate administrative support to midwives within in the province, and helping to provide EVERY woman in Saskatchewan with access to the option of midwifery care if they so choose. The petition will be presented before the Legislative Assembly early next week. There is a copy of the petitions at 2 of my favorite places:

Groovy Mama: 3206 13th Avenue

Precious Earth: 1213 15th Avenue

If you aren't in the Queen City, and still want some more information on how you can help women gain access to Midwifery care, please visit: Mothers of Change, or The International Confederation of Midwives.

Have a fantastic weekend and Happy Mothers day to all my fellow Mamas! Don't forget to enter Naturally Nena's very first Giveaway for your chance to win an adorable handmade Lindberg hat.

Wordless Wednesday: All Tuckered Out

2011-05-04T12:05:00.000-06:00

napping at Gigi's house

Blog Hopping Across the Cyberverse

2011-05-04T11:03:00.000-06:00

I've joined up with the wonderful ladys over at Voiceboks for their year-long blog hop! What fun! Check it out for some great Mommy blogs, or join up if you are a new blog! Fun fun!

Giveaway: Lindberg Hat

2011-05-03T13:28:00.002-06:00

It's Giveaway Time!!!

Holy Moly, I am so excited to announce Naturally Nena's VERY FIRST giveaway! Woohoo! And how freaking cute is this????

photo credit: S.W. Portraits.

Kate from Little Noggin Designs is offering to make one of her fabulously adorable Lindberg hats for one lucky reader! These super cute little hats are made of natural fibres, wooden buttons, and are just so cute they make me want to scream! The best part? If you are the lucky winner, the hat will be custom made to fit your little bean's noggin and shipped straight to you!

Kate has been designing hats for little bean-heads for some time, and has just recently started up her own business. She is an amazing wife and an aunt to many little beans. She is based out of Utah and has some totally rockin' designs! In fact, she is the talented lady who made this adorable snowman hat/scarf for my own little Sadie:

Want your chance at winning an adorable Lindberg hat for your little bean? It's as easy as pie!

Main Entry: Follow both Naturally Nena and Little Noggin Designs publicly with Google Friend Connect. You will find my "Follow" button near the bottom of the right column and leave a comment at the end of this post. (1 entry) This must be done for all other entries to count.

Bonus Entries: Want an extra chance to win?? Simply leave an additional comment for each thing you do from the following list:

Tell us who would wear the Lindberg hat!!
Follow Naturally Nena on Facebook, Twitter (please leave your twitter name in the comment), or by RSS by using the buttons at the top of the page. (1 entry for each)
Follow Little Noggin Designs on Facebook. (1 entry)
Leave a Relevant comment on another post here at Naturally Nena and tell us which post. (1 entry only)
Put Naturally Nena's badge on your blog, and/or add http://naturallynena.blogspot.com to your blogroll. The html for NN's badge is in the right column. (2 extra entries each)
Post this giveaway on your Facebook page or wall and leave the link (1 entry). You can use this status update: Enter to win an adorable Lindberg hat by @Little Noggin Designs from @Naturally Nena. Contest ends May 24 and is open to Canada & US. Be sure to attach the contest URL to your update: http://naturallynena.blogspot.com/2011/05/giveaway-lindberg-hat.html (1 entry)
Tweet about this giveaway (up to 5 times total, at least 24 hours apart). You can tweet this text: #Win a LittleNoggin hat from @NaturallyNena! #giveaway http://bit.ly/jvUY7a {5.24, US/Can} (1 entry each).

Rules:

Contest is Open to Canadian and US mailing addresses
Leave each entry as a separate comment at the end of this post to help ensure all your entries are counted.
For actions like following and subscribing, if you already do so, that still counts! Just let me know in the comment.
For things that can gain multiple entries, you can copy/paste your comment, but please put "#1, #2, #3, etc"
You don't have to do any of the bonus entries if you would prefer not to. But you must do the main entry in order for any of your entries to count.
I will be picking the winner using random.org after the contest closes and be sending an email notification. Please ensure your email address is easy to find on your blog/profile, or leave a valid email address in your comment so I can contact you. If I do not hear back from you within a few days I will draw a new name.
Any questions? Shoot me an email at: pineapplelesson[at]yahoo.com

Contest closes May 24 at 11:59pm CST

Good luck and thanks for stopping by!

Wordless Wednesday: Of Tricycles and Spring Mornings

2011-04-27T14:46:00.000-06:00

Sorry for the bad quality. I forgot to take my camera with me so these are unedited photos taken with my cell-phone. I am hoping to make them a bit nicer with some photoshop magic.

Wordless Wednesday: Consistent and Loving Care

2011-04-20T15:18:00.000-06:00

Natural Parenting Network's Wordless Wednesday: Consistent and Loving Care

Bedtime Routines Gone Awry

2011-04-19T13:55:00.000-06:00

Jude bug has decided that sleep is a nonessential part of his life.

The last few weeks have been filled with tears at bedtime. My little boy who previously snuggled into bed and drifted off in mere minutes has fled, leaving behind his very unhappy and grouchy counterpart. However, nobody can tell me this little man doesn't know EXACTLY what he is doing.

There have been several instances as of late; usually nights that DH is away during bedtime; that a few minutes after I leave his bedroom, Jude's sweet little voice will call out "Mommy." I will open his door a little wider and ask "Yes, bug?" "Jude sleep Mommy-Daddy's bed?" And though I am not quite ready for bed myself, My heart does a little flip - remembering the days of cozy bedsharing with Jude and I give in - tucking Jude snugly into our warm bed, right beside me. It plays out like a well-known script.
My little snuggle bug promptly begins to talk my ear off, telling me all about the things he has done all day, how much he loves me, what he would like to do tomorrow, what he learned at church in Nursery the past Sunday. He recites Robert Munsch books to me, sings a few Beatles songs, and then about 45 minutes later, shortly after beginning to fall asleep, exclaims "Jude sleep own bed!" And we make the trek across the hall, 32lb toddler wrapped in my arms, to his room... and his own bed.

And though we are both tired... and a little grumpy... the next morning, I wouldn't trade those bedtime whisperings for anything.
Thank goodness for afternoon naps.

The June Cleaver Complex

2011-04-15T13:35:00.000-06:00

Sometimes life can be difficult. We tend to think of all of the things that we lack. Socially - we may lack a tight-knit group of friends. Financially - we may lack wealth, or an ability to manage our money as well as we would like. Physically - we may lack strength, or a totally ripped bod. Emotionally - we may lack the ability to just "turn off the tears" over silly things like cheesy romantic comedies or humane society commericals.

When I think of what I lack, I could cover any of these areas. But there is something I lack that I can improve on, and that is my self confidence.

Okay, so some of you may be looking at my blog, thinking "how could she lack self confidence? She is strong in her convictions, she has photographs of herself and her beautiful children all over the place. She knows what she wants out of life... where is the lack of self confidence?"

Well my friends, I would like to tell you a secret.

I second guess EVERYTHING I do.

Take for example my blog... I read through every post about 100+ times before actually pressing that daunting little "Publish Post" button beneath it.

After spending hours putting together an activity for the church RS women, I sit in the kitchen with wide eyes thinking of all the things I could have done differently (read: better) but of course, it is at this point too late to change anything.

I have a tendency to think everybody hates me. This includes my husband and children sometimes. Ridiculous, I know. They love me more than anyone else. But part of me doesn't believe they should.

Despite my strong convictions I hate to be ridiculed about them, and will usually try to avoid any sort of conflict.

About a week or so ago I asked my Mom if she was disappointed that I didn't amount to more. I was being dead serious. (I am sure I don't need to explain how the rest of that conversation went).

Despite how clean my house may be, I am constantly apologizing for how much of a "disaster" it is.

These are just a few examples.

The thing that drives me CRAZY is that I know just how ridiculous I am being most of the time... but there is always that little voice in the back of my head saying I'm just "not good enough."

Being a Natural Mama, I work so hard to ensure my children feel loved, appreciated, and respected. But the minute I start to get impatient, usually on "one of those days." I suddenly feel like a complete failure as a Mother.

This isn't the only area I have this issue, as you can see above, but Mommy Guilt seems to be my specialty. Something I DO NOT lack. If anyone deserved a PhD in Mommy Guilt it is yours truly.

I call it the June Cleaver Complex.

Growing up I LOVED shows like Leave it to Beaver; where the Mother had hair that was always perfectly coiffed, wearing a dress that was always pressed, and scrunching her nose up when her two energetic boys would bring home a mud covered frog, or a skinned knee. I imagined my life would be just as perfect. That my husband would come home to me pulling a tasty and beautiful 3 course meal from the oven, having just finished vacuuming in my patent leather pumps, wearing my pearls, and "fluffing" the pillows on his recliner. Every day wrapping up with a moral lesson, a bedtime story, and a kiss on the head.

Needless to say, my life is a bit more unpredictable than "Leave it to Beaver." Greeting you as you enter my home is a barrage of shoes waiting to trip you as you are carrying an arm-full of baby clothes. I seemingly wash load upon load of children clothes that are suddenly three sizes too small the moment I return them to their drawers. (Thank you growth spurts). My children, usually sweet and patient always seem to know exactly which day it is that I just need things to be a bit more calm - and choose that day to scream incessantly while strewing clothes, toys, and just about anything they can get their hands on all over the house. Please don't ask me how the green face paint got all over Jude's play mat. Some days dinner isn't on the table when DH gets home. The truth is that the floor is in bad need of being vacuumed. And Mike could care less whether I fluff his pillow or not. Most days do wrap up with a bedtime story and a kiss on the head... but I am still struggling to figure out what the heck I was supposed to learn most nights when I head to bed myself.

The truth is - my hair will never be perfectly coiffed. I went to school to learn how to deal with my hair and it still looks like a bird's nest after fighting it in the bathroom for a good hour. I wear dresses most of the time, but it is usually with a pair of leggings underneath, and a white spit-up stain on the shoulder. And to be honest, I am usually the one bringing home mud covered frogs or skinning my knee. (Babywearing can be a full contact sport, ya know!) I am learning to accept that and just enjoy my time with my kiddos. Whether there are dishes in the sink or not.

Mommy Guilt still consumes me at times... but I am learning to deal with it and not let it stress me out. I am realizing that I don't raise my children exactly the way other parents do - but that is because I don't have exactly the same kids they have. And that is the way it is supposed to be. I am starting to gain some self confidence. Slow and steady.

"Motherhood brings as much joy as ever, but it still brings boredom, exhaustion, and sorrow too. Nothing else ever will make you as happy or as sad, as proud or as tired, for nothing is quite as hard as helping a person develop his own individuality especially while you struggle to keep your own." -- Marguerite Kelly and Elia Parsons

This is Motherhood the way I know it. And I am fine with that.

...screw you, June Cleaver!

Today's post inspired by a writing prompt over at Mama Kat's!

Thursday Afternoon Share: 31 Days to a Less Messy Nest

2011-04-14T16:40:00.000-06:00

Possibly one of the best decorating blogs I have found is The Nesting Place.

Just look at her beautiful home! Would you believe it's a rental?

I am loving their "31 Days to a Less Messy Nest" right now. Mostly because it is less about "Day 1: go and do THIS" "Day 2: go and do THAT", and more about sharing hints and tips about what has helped her keep her home (with 3 kids in tow) neat & tidy; and how she learned to let go of perfectionism and embrace the "lived in" home. I am seriously loving this blog, and spent WAY too much time reading it the last couple of days! Check, check it out!

Wordless Wednesday: Smiles

2011-04-13T17:37:00.000-06:00

this week's Wordless Wednesday post is linked up with YouCapture.

Do the Terrible Twos REALLY have to be so Terrible?

2011-04-11T00:13:00.000-06:00

My name is Nena and I am the Mother of a two-year-old.

Alright, cheesy "support group opening" aside, it is true that many parents have a hard time with their two year olds. As the child starts to need more independence and starts venturing away from their parents, who sometimes do not know how to respond. Many times we, as Mothers, look back on those years and wonder how we managed to get through those difficult times. I am a firm believer that this doesn't have to be the case.

When I became a parent I was often complimented on how well behaved my son was. This was quickly followed by a comment similar to: "Just wait until he turns two." It seems the world is intent on scaring parents into thinking that on their child's second birthday some sort of demon is going to possess the spirit of your little one and nothing short of an exorcism will free you from the endless parade of temper tantrums. The simple answer to this is that there is no magical switch in your child's brain that flips on when they turn two. It is all a matter of communication.

When a baby first comes into our life we can spend hours gazing into their little faces, mirroring every facial expression, mimicking each gentle coo, and devoting inordinate amounts of time to ensuring their every need is met. Studies have shown that when infants are not exposed to regular maternal interactions and only have their physical needs met they suffer considerably. Our interactions with our infants help them to learn to make sense of the world, process information, and make important neural connections in the brain. For example, if your baby is crying because he is hungry and you gently speak to him in a calming way, lovingly wrap him in your arms and nurse him; he is understanding that his actions received the correct response - you understood him, and he knows that he will be alright; he feels loved. Without these responses, however, the infant has no way to learn and categorize sensory information.

Most of us instinctively know this, and there are very few parents who need to be taught the importance of this type of communication when it comes to infants. I would even venture a guess that nobody reading this post would argue that at every age our children need to feel loved and understood. The problem comes when helping our children feel this way becomes less clear.

Ironically, once our child begins to develop language skills, usually around age 2 (there's that magical number) we as parents start to react differently, expecting our children to cater more to us, and forgetting the importance that our reactions have in raising our children.

Now before you run away on me, I by no means am suggesting you should constantly talk to your toddler in ridiculous "baby-talk" or smother them to the point that they have no independence. I am talking about mirroring your childs emotions. When your child sees you understand how he feels, he feels a tremendous amount of love and becomes comfortable with who he is.

As an example, my daughter Sadie, who is four months old, loves the bath tub. The warm water on her skin is one of her favorite things about being on this earth, I am sure. Unfortunately, however, bath time must inevitably come to an end. As I lift her out of the tub she often cries and her giant, overly-expressive eyes make it look as though her heart is breaking. How do I react?

Well, I hold her to me, softly reassuring her. "I know you love the nice warm bath honey, and now you are so cold. Here, let me warm you up. You poor little doll, you're shivering. Come, let's get a nice warm towel and snuggle together for a little while until you feel better." I am certain most parents would react the same way.

Now take my two year old son, Jude, for example. It takes Jude a little while to get used to being in the tub. It often takes me 10 minutes to coax him to even sit down in the warm water. Once he finally does he is not the type to enjoy having his hair shampooed. He doesn't even like to have the water splashed over his body. But he does like to take his time.

We are talking about the boy who will take a minimum of one hour to eat his lunch every day. To Jude, there is no reason to hurry through life (which is a reminder to me to slow down - but that is for another post). So when it is time to end the bath he is often equally as dejected as his sister. There is nothing worse than the sight of those big blue eyes filled with tears.

This is where the hard part comes in.

Most parents likely find themselves saying something along the lines of: "Oh honey, stop crying now. Be a big boy. Here is your towel, you'll be fine."

Do you see the radical change?

How confusing it must be for our children to have two completely different reactions from the same behavior. Depending on how sensitive your child is, this could make a huge impact on their self-worth and they may react dramatically to this shift. And the more sensitive your child is, the more he will test to see how you are going to react to his behavior... and the more likely it is that we, as parents, will start to get irritated and the more likely it is that our children will receive messages that contradict with how he has been taught to recognize love.

Since the instinctive mirroring you did with your newborn made him feel loved and understood, it is only natural to think that this drastic change in behavior would make the child nervous, and confused. He is wondering "why did her response to me change?" Why is it that when your two year old cries, instead of smiling and saying "I'm sorry you feel so sad," they are, in essence, told that their feelings do not matter and that there is "nothing to cry about." It doesn't take a parenting expert to realize that, for anyone, but especially for a child, being told that your emotions are wrong, or inappropriate, can be quite distressing. Especially when it comes from the people you always felt understood you most of all, your parents.

Returning to the bath-time example, if I may, we can stop for just a moment and say, instead: "I know you were having fun sweetheart, and now you are cold. Let me warm you up and we can put on some nice soft pajamas and read a book in bed. Which book would you like to read tonight? I can't wait to snuggle with you."

Do you see the difference? It takes a tiny bit of extra work, but I can tell you from experience that the second scenario is far more comforting to a child. And often stops the tears faster.

To make it worse, the two-year mark is often the point where another baby enters the family. So our children are seeing all of that love and attention they used to receive transferred to their sibling. So many of the whiny, clingy, "babyish" actions are simply your child's way of trying to regain that sense of love and understanding they felt when they really were a baby. This is one of the reasons many in the Natural and Attachment Parenting crowd choose to space their children a little farther apart. However, for some of us, (me for one), the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray. And we are met with a happy surprise.

As I said already, that instinctive mirroring of our children isn't always as clear as they grow older, however this is a skill that can have a great impact on our relationships with our children (as well as most other relationships in our life). As our toddlers are growing and pressing forward, pushing new boundaries and finding their independence, we often as parents simply want them to behave themselves. Whereas our children NEED to know that we love them NO MATTER HOW they behave. I am not saying we should idly watch as our children leap onto a railroad with a train barreling toward them; but they need to know that their behavior does not affect our love for them. We may not always agree with what they are doing, and we may have to show them an alternative way of going about things, but we need to strive to LISTEN to them first and foremost. As we strive to understand our childrens' wants, needs, and desires; as we encourage them to dream and to reach for their fullest potential; they will need to know that we will always be standing behind them. Whether your child is 2 or 22, the fact that they know their parents love them unconditionally will give them a huge advantage no matter what endeavor they decide to take on. Your child needs to know that no separation, however long, will make you "forget" them.

When you have a strong bond with your child, when you are emphatic and understanding, it creates a self confident and independent young person. Though some in the anti-AP crowd may argue the opposite, studies have been done to confirm that those who report having the closest bonds to their parents are the ones who have a greater ability to grow, explore, and separate from their parents. And this does not apply to toddlers alone. This is something that is carried throughout the child's entire life. Looking back, and I am sure the same can be said of everyone reading this, those people I admired growing up - those friends of mine who had self confidence and a great sense of self worth - were those who knew their parents loved and supported them.

The two-year mark doesn't have to be so terrible. Will it take extra effort on your part to ensure it isn't so terrible? Yes. Will there be days when it is harder than others? Or course. Will it be worth it? Definitely!

This is what drew me to the world of Natural Parenting. My children are well-behaved in public, yes. But they are also, overall, well-behaved at home. Let's be honest. My children aren't perfect. They have their moments. But so do I. I wish I could say I am ALWAYS attuned to my childrens' desires, that I am never upset or grumpy, and that I never have a bad day. But that would be a lie. The truth is, however, that I try 100% of the time to build a strong bond with them.

Parenting is a journey. The important thing is that we find the path that leads us to where we want to end up with our children. I personally want self-confident children who know how much I love them, who can stand up for what they believe in, and make a difference in the world. And I fully intend to do everything I can to help them become that way. Why don't we spend less time scaring parents into expecting a year of tantrums and power-struggles and more time preparing them on how to better communicate with their toddler? What a difference it would make if all parents saw their children this way.

For more information on the importance of a strong parent-child bond, please take a look at the work of Dr. William Sears, as well as: The Natural Child Project, and The Connected Mom

Sunday Scrap: April 10, 2011

2011-04-10T02:05:00.000-06:00

Hop on over to Say Something Charming Designs to see what I've been busy creating this week.

If You Really Knew Me

2011-04-08T12:24:00.000-06:00

If you really knew me you would know...

I cry EVERY time I hear Rufus Wainwright sing "Hallelujah."
I am not nearly as ditzy as I seem. I am simply shy, and so I giggle a lot when I am uncomfortable.
I rarely check my voice-mail... No matter who called
I miss improv... a lot. It almost physically hurts.
Both of my children were named after Beatles songs.
I have a lot of regrets from the period between the end of Highschool and my 20th birthday.
I could sleep for 24 hours straight and STILL be tired.
My life is not nearly as put-together as everyone seems to think it is!
I wish I could change my childrens' birth stories.
I totally have a crush on Michael J. Fox! lol
My best friend is someone I've never met face to face.
My Papa and Nana mean the world to me. My Nana is my role model. If I can be half the woman she is I will be happy.

Writing Prompt provided by:

Thursday Afternoon Share: Making the Decision to Breastfeed

2011-04-07T13:27:00.000-06:00

This week I wanted to share a workshop that Groovy Mama, an amazing local boutique where you can find all things Natural Parenting, is offering.

On Wednesday, April 20th from 7:00pm to 9:00pm they are providing a workshop called "Making the Decision to Breastfeed." The information I have is as follows:

"This fun and informative workshop will help mamas and their support people in overcoming possible obstacles and in finding good sources of help for nursing. The event is open to women currently nursing or planning to nurse. Husbands, partners or other support people are welcome to come and learn ways in which they can help with mama's decision to breastfeed. Babies are always welcome.

We will cover the benefits of nursing, anatomy and physiology of nursing, myths about breastfeeding, ensuring support from family members and sources of community support.
Your instructor is Kim Smith. Kim is an IBCLC who works in private practice in Regina and is currently in a term position as a Lactaion Consultant at the Yorkton Regional Hospital. Kim also supports women in their pregnancies, births and into motherhood as a CAPPA trained doula. Kim is the mother of three children."

The workshop is free of charge, but they ask that you preregister by calling 347-2229 or visiting them on facebook. Refreshments will be served.

Groovy Mama is located at 3206 13th Avenue in the heart of the Cathedral Village.

Wordless Wednesday: Poetry and Prose

2011-04-06T10:26:00.000-06:00

Some oldies but goodies.

Jude enjoying some live music in the park.

Quick Update

2011-04-04T21:24:00.000-06:00

Life has been a bit hectic the last week or so. I will be updating again this week and hopefully be back on track. Thanks for being so patient while I am busy being a flake!

Thursday Afternoon Share

2011-03-31T13:32:00.000-06:00

Today I wanted to share an incredible post from fellow Natural Mama Lauren at Hobo Mama. Postpartum Sex vs. Sex Before Kids. Warning, this is not for those who prefer to pretend that sex simply doesn't exist; a stork brings your baby; or that they'll "never have that problem."

I love Lauren's writing, but this piece particularly spoke to me (perhaps because of the age of my newest addition). It is well-written, personal, and, well, to be honest... something I know I will never feel comfortable enough to write about myself!

So please enjoy it and leave her some love! She is an incredible mama and a woman I have a lot of respect for.

Wordless Wednesday: Nurturing Touch

2011-03-30T11:37:00.000-06:00

The closer we keep our little ones, the more confident and independent we allow them to become.

Wordless Wednesday theme: Nurturing Touch

Wordless Wednesdays

2011-03-23T10:46:00.000-06:00

So, because Wednesdays are my day to post over on the Goodbyn Girls I have borrowed an idea I have seen on a few of my favorite blogs that I love. It's called "Wordless Wednesday." I will post a photo or two from my week that made me smile! Be sure to tell me if it made you smile as well. And be sure to check out my post today over at the Goodbyn Girls!

The Beginning

2011-03-21T15:51:00.000-06:00

I didn't set out to be a "Natural Parent."

In fact, never being the type to really use labels, I didn't set out to be any specific type of parent.

I just wanted to be the best Mom I could be. You'll find out more about exactly the type of Mom I am as this blog continues, but in the words of Maria from the Sound of Music. Let's start at the very beginning... a very good place to start.

The Best Laid Plans

When I found out I was pregnant for the first time I happily wrote out my birth plan on scrap envelopes at work. I considered hiring a midwife, and excitedly gathered information about doulas in the city. When I started to hemorrhage at 24 weeks and then went into labor a few day later I wasn't anywhere near prepared for things, and handed the reigns over to the medical professionals at the hospital. After a scary experience they were able to stop the progress of labor, and I spent the remainder of my pregnancy on bedrest, both in and out of the hospital - in constant fear that any wrong movement on my part would bring my little bean into the world too soon.

Needless to say, I found myself having to re-think the type of care I was going to receive throughout my pregnancy, and ended up seeing an OBGYN. Thankfully I was able to find one who was caring and personable and made my experience a positive one.

A short time later, after a long and stressful induced labor we welcomed our beautiful baby boy, Jude, into the world. Unfortunately many of my birth plan requests weren't followed - but I was so overjoyed with the fact that he was healthy despite all of the complications that I was able to look past it.

The wonderful thing about spending all that time in bed is that I really had a chance to connect with Jude before he was even born, and for that reason I spent the first few nights he was home from the hospital sitting on the couch holding him in my arms. I couldn't bear to be apart from him. And after a few nights I brought him into our bed and his crib became an incredibly comfortable change table.

A gift certificate to a local baby boutique provided me with a beautiful linen ring sling which also enabled me to keep Jude close to me at all times. I suppose I didn't realize at the time, but I was already establishing my parenting view by following what felt natural.

When I unexpectedly found myself pregnant again just over a year later I looked back on my experiences with Jude and was sure things would go differently.

Because of my previous pregnancy and some other medical reasons, I was still required to see an OB. Thankfully I once again found a supportive and caring female doctor who made me feel empowered, and supported my decisions and choices.

Surprises of the Worst Kind

I spent this pregnancy ensuring I was eating healthy, exercising moderately, and trying my best to ensure things went smoothly. After 8 blissfully uncomplicated months, I went in to see my OB for a routine checkup.

When she entered the room with my chart in her hand and a grim face I suddenly felt a wave of nausea come over me. As she explained the results of my latest lab report and the danger associated with continuing my pregnancy I could barely pay attention; and as I signed the order of induction I was flooded with painful memories from Jude's birth.

The next few days went by in a blur as I waited for the phone call, and as I arrived at the hospital I found it difficult to look the nurses and other professionals in the eye. This pregnancy had gone so smoothly, and I felt like I was somehow taking the easy way out. And as I left the hospital in excruciating pain I kept telling myself that maybe I deserved it for not handling Jude's birth better.

She Stopped Breathing

After returning to the hospital I settled in to my delivery room. That wing of the hospital had just been renovated, and I relished in the large tubs in each delivery room, wishing that I had been able to use a midwife so this little one could have a water-birth. I met my nurse, ironically, the same caring and wonderful nurse who had attended to me during Jude's birth and set myself up for an incredibly long night.

After several hours of labor with little progress, I was informed that the monitors showed my baby had stopped breathing, and her heart rate had plummeted. Looking back there is no doubt in my mind that this little girl, several weeks premature, was not yet ready to make her way into the world and this was her way of telling me. But hindsight is 20/20, and when you are surrounded with medical professionals you can feel quite intimidated.

I was rushed into an operating room, crying as I signed the forms allowing the doctors to perform a cesarean. Jan, my wonderful nurse, held my hand and promised me that everything would be alright. She has an incredible memory and knew how badly I wanted to have a natural, complication-free birth; I knew her heart was breaking right alongside mine.

Things went quickly from there. Before I knew it I was too drugged up to feel anything both physically and emotionally. I shivered uncontrollably. At 1:54 am she was born. Despite my dopey state, I knew the exact moment that her small body was taken from mine - no matter what anyone says I believe the separation of Mother and Baby is one of the most profound moments in a Mother's life. And as I waited for her to cry out for me, I began to worry. Not a sound was heard. My little girl was rushed off to a far-away corner of the room and my eyes filled again with tears. I wasn't sure I could ever forgive myself for what seemed a myriad of mistakes if I had to say goodbye to this precious life before it even started.

After what seemed like an eternity, a small cry pierced the silence and my tears were a mixture of joy and disappointment as I lay there, unable to move, unable to hold the little girl who was now bundled and being shown to me. I had time to smile at her, and tell her I loved her before she was rushed off to another room to be monitored.

I am so grateful to my wonderful husband who only had to look at me to know that I needed him to accompany her. Since I couldn't be there to comfort her myself, I trusted he would know the right thing to do. He knew what I would want to happen and he lovingly followed our little girl as she was wheeled down the hallway.

It was then that the shock and the worry and the relief became too much for me, and I passed out.

Disconnected

When they finally brought my baby girl to me hours later in the recovery room, I felt disconnected from her. Something was missing. I held her to my breast and she nursed for a short time before falling asleep happily. But as I looked at this tiny, fragile life in my arms I didn't know what I felt. If I even felt anything. I wasn't even sure what to do.

Because I was still unable to move most of my body, the nurses took my little girl to the nursery that first night after I begged them and made them swear they wouldn't give her even an ounce of formula. I was restless. As soon as they brought her to me a few hours later because she was hungry I pretended that my pain level was manageable, and made quite a show of swinging my arms about to prove I was capable of holding her, and they consented I could keep her in my room with me. As I gazed into the sleeping face of my little girl, I realized I had no idea who she was, we had no connection, and therefore I wasn't able to think of a name to suit her.

Trusting my Instincts

Even after returning home with our baby girl, who we finally named Sadie, I felt disconnected from her. I started to worry that I was experiencing the first familiar pangs of postpartum depression. I suffered through the most agonizing 11 months with Jude before getting help, and I knew I couldn't do that again. But with an almost two year old running around my feet, Christmas and birthday party preparations to deal with, and a whole lot of mess to clean up (that's what happens when babies come three weeks early), I didn't have time to think of it. I wrapped Sadie in my ring sling, nursed her on the go, and snuggled with my kiddos in bed every afternoon during what was soon dubbed "family naptime," and before I knew it - my sweet little girl with the big innocent eyes and I had developed that connection I had feared we would never get; and that nagging guilt that clouded my every thought started to fade. Somewhere between the countless Eric Carle books, runny noses, skinned knees, dirty diapers and sweet newborn cries I had remembered to just trust my instincts and forget all the well-meaning advice I had received from mothers who just "didn't get it".

And that is exactly the point of natural parenting. Trusting your instincts. I doubt there is any mother who naturally would come to the conclusion that letting your baby cry for hours at a time was healthy. Or that ignoring her signs of hunger until the clock showed the "appropriate time" was normal. It is through parenting by following our natural instincts - our "mothers intuition" so to speak - that we are able to truly get to know our children. I have learned so much about each of my children and who they are, and I am so blessed because of it. I feel really connected to them.

I have realized that having my birth plan followed to the letter doesn't define my relationship to my children. That despite the disappointment I felt each time I entered the delivery room, I have been able to reassure my children of their place in my heart. And I have come to realize that it is nothing I have done. Some women are just made to have babies - unfortunately, despite my best intentions, it seems I may not be one of those women. So I may as well move past that, and enjoy the two beautiful spirits I have sharing my home... and my heart.

Redesign

2011-03-15T13:37:00.000-06:00

naturallynena.blogspot.com is currently undergoing some extensive renovations. We are getting a whole new look for spring to go along with our new focus. Version 2.0 of the blog will be rolling out in the next week or so. In the meantime you may notice a few changes, a few edits and a few things may not work quite right. Things may look weird or not match... I apologize for that, and will try to do things as quickly as I can, but please be patient as I do have two little people at home who are my top priority! All of my old posts have disappeared for the time being, so if you are looking for information in an older post or a recipe please let me know and I will send it to you.
I am looking forward to unveiling everything very soon.
Until then,
Nena